Badass ways to say no

1 The idea is bad and you must be punished.
2 It’s not a priority for me at this time.
3 I'd rather stick needles in my eyes.
4 Or your eyes.
5 My schedule...is up in the right now.
6 I don’t love it, which means I’m not the person for it.
7 I would prefer another option.
8 I would prefer a night with Keanu reeves, but that’s just me. NEVER MIND.
9 I love it, but i know in my gut I’m not the person to execute.
10 I would be the absolute worst person to execute, are you on crack?
11 life is too short TO DO THINGS YOU don’t LOVE,
12 I no longer do things that make me want to kill myself.
13 you should do this yourself, you would be awesome sauce.
14 My lady balls are not that big.
15 I would love to say yes to everything, but
16 Fuck no. that would be stupid.
17 I am disturbed by your excessive use of smiley faces :)
18 Some things have come up that need my attention.
19 My instincts tell me I’m just not suitable for this.
20 There is a person who totally kicks ass at this. I AM NOT THAT PERSON.
21 It would cause the slow withering death of my soul.
22 We should rethink this.
23 We should have the wild monkey sex. I DIDN'T TO SAY THAT OUT LOUD
24 Shoot me now.
25 I didn’t mean literally shoot me. You moron.

25 Badass Ways to Say No

1. No, thank you.

2. I’d rather stick hot coals in my eyes.

3. Uh-uh. You must be crazy.   4. That shit be whack.

   5. My schedule is full right now. 

 6. My Magic 8-Ball says “Ask Again Later.”  

 7. Like much later - Like Never. 

8. I don’t want to.

9. I would be the absolute worst  10. You must be on crack. 

      person for that job.  

11. Seriously? (Maniacal laughter)

   12. All signs point to NO. 

13. During Mercury Retrograde? That would be a terrible mistake.

 14. Sorry, my Spirit Guides think that’s an idiotic idea. 

 15. I consulted my Tarot, and  16. I prefer to spend time doing

             both the Tower and Death        things I love, and I don’t love

             cards came up. Sorry.          that idea. 

17. Taking on that project would cause

my soul to slowly wither and die.

18. The STARS are not aligned at this time; I’m in a Season of No.

 19. That doesn’t sound         20. I love the idea,

       like something that fits              but I’m just not the 

             my Life Purpose.          Right person for it.

21. I’d rather go out with Angelina Jolie. Seriously – do you have her number?

22. [Said in Darth Vader Voice]: There are times in life where you are   

                 given a rare opportunity to make a great difference.

                                     This is not one of those times.  

 23. I prefer not to waste my Life Energy on that type of drudgery. 

     24. Fuck No. 

25. Squirrel! (run away)

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Faheem